Have you ever been in a conversation with another person, exchanging ideas and talking about opportunities, when one of you raised a concern like “But, I can’t do that.”, or “I think I couldn’t pull that off.”? Sure, it might not have been these exact same words, and, the objection raised might well have been hidden somewhere in between the lines. Still, what was said implied that there’s a border between the realm of possibility and the realm of impossibility, and that, supposedly, this barrier cannot be crossed.
Usually, when I hear people suggesting that there’s something that they cannot accomplish, or don’t feel comfortable committing to, I’m tempted to give the kind of response that nobody wants to hear: “I couldn’t do it either, if I would do things your way.” Then again, I don’t consider this a pejorative statement. This thought of mine doesn’t come up because I think people are idiots. Instead, it comes up because I consider all of us, including me, to be well advised to check out different strategies and approaches whenever we don’t do what’s necessary to get a particular outcome we want.
Much of what I do on a regular basis would feel impossible for me to stick with long-term If I’d be doing things in conventional ways. Therefore, I’m constantly on the lookout for alternative perspectives and good reasons to question any modus operandi that I believe to be too much of a hassle. In my experience, nothing even remotely challenging gets done easily when doing it creates too much inner friction. Still, people tend to tell themselves that “just doing it” is supposed to be more vital than preparing for doing and constantly fine-tuning how it’s done. I assure you that these people are wrong. All these elements are equally important.
The most pivotal reason for anyone to fail isn’t necessarily a lack of doing. More likely, it’s the fact that, in our past, we’ve learned to deal with life and many its challenges in ways that were never likely to give us the outcomes we wanted. So, we got accustomed to setting our expectations low.
Generally speaking, people with low expectations tend to suck at coming up with smart strategies that would allow for them to approach problems and undertakings in the most efficient and rewarding way. Whenever you believe to be incapable of doing something that needs to get done, it doesn’t take much to make this conviction feel like a fact. All you need to do is picture yourself following a futile approach and allow your emotional state to be affected by this image in order to considerably dampen your brain’s desire to bother you with constructive thinking. In fact, none of this even needs to happen consciously.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to convince you to think more positively. I urge you to think more realistically. With very few exceptions, all of us can build the skills and mindset necessary to do pretty much anything we’d ever want to do. However, in order to get there, we need to pick a combination of strategies that allow for us to actually be the person who gets it done. So, we’re well-advised to refrain from telling ourselves that we don’t have the means, skills or resources necessary to reach some goal that intrigues us, if we haven’t even come up with a truly smart and effective way that would allow for us to reach this goal with as little effort as reasonably possible.
The bottom line here is that there’s no need for you to be one of those people who are convinced they can do whatever they want or need to do. In fact, it’s irrelevant what kind of limiting beliefs you’ve held until now. It doesn’t matter how often you didn’t follow through with anything in your past, or how often you picked strategies that led to dead ends. The only thing that counts is what you do today, tomorrow, and any subsequent day that allows you get you closer to making the difference you’re looking for. Ultimately, what counts is that you’re open to the idea of being the person willing to figure out how to get it done.
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