It is my understanding that human beings should consider themselves to be destined to learn and evolve on a lifelong basis. For us to be able to create any particular outcome that we aren’t creating yet, we need to become who we need to be in order for us to produce this outcome. I’m not insinuating that we’re all inadequate or deficient. Also, I’m not criticizing anyone for their choices in life, or, conversely, for a lack of decisiveness. I’m merely pointing out the vast potential that all of us have at our disposal. No matter what our accomplishments might have been so far, in order to get to any subsequent level of what we can do, gain, and contribute, we have to become the next version of ourselves. And of course, I’m well aware how many people take it quite personally when it feels to them like they’re accused of not being enough, and not being accepted for who they are. Mainly, because it forces them to question the emotional reality that they habitually identify with.
I tend to talk about this topic rather casually, because I believe that people need to get gently provoked into realizing that change doesn’t have to be tough or tedious. More often than not, change only seems as hazardous as it does, because there’s a lot that we habitually identify with that isn’t part of who we are. In order to keep our lives stable, we’ve all come to adopt beliefs and conclusions that don’t serve us well as part of the self-description that we operate on every day.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely do consider stability to be a good thing. However, I reject the idea that we have to depend on a limiting as well as outdated set of stipulations that impose on us what we’re allowed to perceive as possible, or impossible. Our description of ourselves doesn’t determine who we are at our core. Still, it does give direction to how we express ourselves and which tools we make use of in order to play our part in the shaping of reality.
One would think that a vast majority of people can agree to the notion that bringing yourself to the next level, either personally, or in some area of expertise, will rarely lead to remorse. Still I’ve met a lot of people who are remarkably hesitant when it comes to opening up to any kind of change in their lives, no matter how promising the outcome might appear. People cling to the idea that making the wrong decision might lead to unwanted results. Consciously or unconsciously, they fear the chance of loosing whatever they’re emotionally attached to. And, they don’t want to deal with any situations that could potentially make them feel more impaired than they already do.
I know from my own experience what this can feel like. But also, I’m well aware that feelings don’t always tell the truth. In fact, there are certain feelings that always lie. Sure, there are other feelings that warn us of real danger, or provide us with other kinds of valuable information. However, these intuitive and instinctive feelings can indeed be distinguished from those that are merely holding us back from leaving our emotional comfort zone.
The emotional resistance that comes up to stop us from making crucial changes in our life will rarely tell us anything about how we’ll feel after these changes have been made. In retrospect, I realize that becoming more organized has never put any limitations on me, but created room for more creativity and spontaneity. Also, becoming more patient didn’t slow me down, but made me more strategic and therefore enabled me to progress faster. Becoming a more intuitive thinker didn’t usually make me come across as less logical or reasonable, but helped me make better use of my rational thinking. And, taking more risks, in a calculated way, didn’t put me in harm’s way, but indeed allowed me to gain more control over my life.
On many occasions, learning new skills has helped me build on those skills that I had already acquired, while implementing unfamiliar strategies has paved ways for me to make even better use of those strategies that I was already familiar with. And, of course, reaching goals has deepened my understanding of what works for me, and what doesn’t. Even when I happened to fail to reach a goal that I had set, I either learned something new about what to do differently next time, or I got the chance to reconsider what alternative goal would have been a wiser choice to pick.
While all these experiences I’ve made over the course of my life have certainly altered my self-perception, and also affected how I express myself to the world, none of it has changed who I am. Instead, what has changed is how I characterize and depict myself.
The description of myself that I identify with today isn’t the same one that I used 10, 20, or 40 years ago. However, changing the description on the label doesn’t change the content. Instead, modifying and widening my perspective of myself has continually expanded my awareness for who I can be and what I’m able to become capable of as long as I keep living focused on what is important and meaningful to me.
The conclusion I want you to draw from all this is a simple one: don’t let the self-description you operate on tell you what you cannot, shouldn’t, or aren’t willing to do. In particular, don’t accept limitations that others have inserted into your personal map of reality. Instead, make your choices and do what’s necessary to upgrade your description.
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